This page provides information about various on- and off-campus resources available to survivors of sexual, domestic, and dating violence. We invite you to use them to help support yourself and others! We also welcome you to contact our Project SAFE staff to discuss these resources and any others that are available.
Important Tips
Experiencing trauma, or being the person someone discloses details of trauma to, can be a confusing and overwhelming experience for individuals who experience harm and their support network alike. Here are some helpful tips to consider as you make your way towards a healing path that works best for you.
Navigating the aftermath of violence is a deeply personal journey, and we here at Project SAFE seek to offer support to survivors in the ways that best meet their needs. While you consider your options, we hope you find the following list of tips and reminders helpful.
As a survivor, remember that you have the right to:
- Healing and recovery. Healing after an experience of sexual violence is a process, and it looks different for everyone, but it is possible. There is no timeline for recovery, it may take weeks, months, or even years, and the journey of healing has its ups and downs. You have the right to feel your feelings and express yourself.
- Be believed and to receive support services like therapy, advocacy, crisis intervention, and safety planning. You have the right to trauma-informed care. You have the right to ask for help.
- Choose who, how, and when you wish to disclose your experience, if at all.
- Advocate for how you receive support. For example, when sitting down to talk to someone, consider: do I want advice right now, or just need someone to listen?
- Do nothing.
- Request or decline a medical examination.
- Report, or not report, the assault to the police and/or Title IX.
Should you choose to receive a medical examination, you have the right to:
- Be treated with dignity and respect, and to be protected from embarrassment or invasion of privacy.
- Have a rape crisis counselor advocate and a support person of your choosing present during the sexual assault evidentiary exam or physical exam [Penal Code 264.2].
- A free sexual assault medical forensic exam within 5 days of the sexual assault. The exam will address your healthcare needs and collect evidence. You have this right regardless of whether you choose to file a police report.
- Choose whether to release your kit to law enforcement and make a police report immediately, or for your evidence kit to be stored at the healthcare facility for at least one year.
Should you choose to report, you have the right to...
- Be treated with dignity and respect and to be protected from embarrassment or invasion of privacy.
- Have a rape crisis counselor advocate present for any interview by law enforcement authorities, district attorneys, or defense attorneys [Penal Code 679.04].
- Forensic testing of the Sexual Assault Kit and the right to know the results of that testing if you received a forensic medical exam and you choose to release your kit to the police
- Ask for the status and results of the analysis of all evidence related to your assault.
- Request in writing and receive a FREE copy of the initial crime report related to your assault.
- Request their sex offender registry information from the prosecutor if your assailant is convicted and required to register as a sex offender, you have the right to
- for folks who have experienced sexual assault.
- for male survivors.
The following tips for supporting survivors were provided by .
- Language matters. Consider using phrases like:
"I believe you."
"Thank you for telling me. That was brave."
"It's not your fault."
"I'm here for you."
- Check your language. Do not use terms like 鈥渟hould,鈥 鈥渉ave to,鈥 etc. Do not assign them a label. Let them define their experience and how they talk about it on their own. They might not be ready or in a place to identify as a survivor, or define in specific language what happened to them. Do not make promises you can鈥檛 keep. Sometimes folks just need a listening ear. That is an important role to play.
- After someone has disclosed to you, don鈥檛 initiate conversation about the assault.
- Actively listen. Respect when they want to engage, and when they don鈥檛. Be present in the conversation and maintain soft eye contact. Put away all electronic devices.
- Stick with affirming language. Validate what they share, as they share it.
- Be mindful of where you are when the survivor is sharing. Can someone overhear the conversation? Are you both in a safe place?
- Maintain confidentiality at all times. There鈥檚 a reason why you were told. If the person who discloses wants other folks to know, they will tell them.
- Don鈥檛 move into savior mode. This isn鈥檛 about you, it鈥檚 about them.
- Survivors deserve autonomy. You are there to listen not to act. Let them make their own decisions about what action, if any, they will take.
- Ask if there is anything they need from you. Don鈥檛 assume. If they make requests, honestly check in with yourself and let them know if you can meet them or not.
- Ask for consent before any physical touch happens. Respect their wishes and thank them for taking care of themselves.
- Make space for them to feel whatever emotions they are feeling and let them know that all of them are valid. Sometimes survivors experience regret from disclosing or fear of judgment.
- Don鈥檛 ask for details. Just because someone has disclosed their survivor status does not mean they want to disclose everything. You risk re-traumatizing survivors and forcing them to replay their abuse when you ask questions to things they haven鈥檛 offered. They might also feel like they are being interrogated, which is not the position you want to take.
- Don鈥檛 ask them who their abuser is. Naming their abuser doesn鈥檛 legitimize what they鈥檙e saying. What they are saying is already valid. They can share that information with you if and when they want.
- Some survivors dissociate to protect themselves. Coping mechanisms are strategies people processing trauma use to help manage their day-to-day emotions and mental well-being. Work to bring a sense of community to the survivor, not judgment.
- Educate yourself. Research laws and policies that support survivors. Don鈥檛 expect the survivor to do the work for you.
- Pace yourself and maintain your boundaries. Say no when you need to. This supports you and the survivor.
- Be mindful of what kind of support you offer. Offer only what you can sustain. You don鈥檛 want to make the survivor feel like they are too much or regret the fact that they disclosed to you at all.
- Healing is a long, non-linear journey. Patience is key. Change will not happen overnight.
For more resources on supporting a survivor:
- Visit the webpage.
- Check out
- to consider when you suspect that someone is a survivor, but they have not disclosed it to you.